I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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