Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
This is my gift to your gina
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
