the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Randomize
