dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
