; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
