BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
