shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia