just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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