So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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