oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
