They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
