New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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