Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
