If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize