Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize