Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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