i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
