Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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