Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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