he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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