My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
