She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
