Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
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Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
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But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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