I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
