And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
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Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
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The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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