Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
