I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
