I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
