She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
