don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
