There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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