yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
