Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
