he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
