Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
