She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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