Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think I sprained my soul last night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
