ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
