the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
