And the cops told us we were all naked.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
