Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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