Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Randomize
