Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize