You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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