Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
