I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
