Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
