Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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