This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
