how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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