He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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