She said her name was "party"
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
