Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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