She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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