i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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