Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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