found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize