First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
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I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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